I returned to the campground and was completely exhausted. My soul felt like it was heavily bruised. I was just glad to still have a soul, and now it just needed some serious time to heal.
There was one more day of the festival, but I avoided drugs and stayed behind when the group headed into the show. The tent was too hot so I hid away in my car from the crowds. I cried more, and I texted my friend who has always been devoutly Catholic:
“Hey, I was hoping I could come over sometime this week and talk with you about God.”
“Absolutely, that would be awesome! Anything I can do to help and support you.” he replied.
I knew in this new way of life, I would lose a lot of friends. I was okay with that though. I’d rather have one true friend that liked the real me than hundreds of fair-weather friends that only seemed to like the drunk/drugged version of me.
As I drove away from the festival that night. I put on some music. I’d had an overload of electronic music so I put on a lighter playlist. “Coming Home – Part II” by Skylar Grey came on.
I’m coming home
I’m coming home
Tell the world that I’m coming home
Let the rain
Wash away
All the pain of yesterday
I know my kingdom awaits
And they’ve forgiven my mistakes
I’m coming home
I’m coming home
Tell the world I’m coming home
As I drove through the night, the lyrics hit my gut like a cannonball and more waterworks ensued.. You know how certain songs make you think of certain moments in your life? This one will always remind me of that drive home. I was heading home physically and spiritually.